HERE: you will find a wealth of information on the subject of Bullying; how to identify if your child is being bullied or particiapting in bullying and how you can help. Also included here are suggested books, websites and videos .
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Old Adobe Union School Districrt holds a zero tolerance policy. We recognize the harmful effects of bullying on student learning and school attendance and desire to provide learning environments that protects students from physcial and emotional harm.
No individual or group shall, through physical, written, verbal or other means, harass, sexually harass, threaten, intimidate, retaliate, cyberbully, cause bodily injury, or commit hate violence against any other student or site personnel. - Excerpt from Education Code 234.4
BOOKS ON BULLYING
by G.,Kaufman and L., Raphael Year Published: 1999
NON-FICTION: (For grades 3-7)
by P., Thomas and L., Harker Year Published: 2000
NON-FICTION: (For ages 4-8)
by T. Webster-Doyle Year Published: 1997
(NON-FICTION: For ages 9-12)
by P. Polacco Year Published: 1998
Trisha is a fith grader who faces the duel challenge of struggling with reading and dealing with the taunts of a bully. With the help of her teacher, she begins to conquer her reading problem and in the process discovers her artistic talent.
by M. Moss Year Published: 1999
Fith-grader Amelia is the target of the class bully, but she gains the courage to stand up for herself while spending a week at Space Camp.
by K. McKeon Year Published: 2000
A baseball-playing, ballet-dancing girl is subjected to teasing from classmates, but she hatches a scheme with her coach to teach them a lesson.
by B. Bottner Year Published: 1992
Intended for preschool and young elementary students, this book tells a story in which girls figure out how to resolve a conflict with an aggressive playmate in a non-aggressive manner.
by J. Cox Year Published: 2001
Lilly fears meeting up with a bully but with the aid of a classmate she conquers her fear and learns to stand up to mean mean Maureen Green.
by A. Browne Year Published: 2002
Willy is not very good at sports but he deserves to be crowned champ when he outdoes the local bully.
by Judy Blume Year Published: 2002
Jill torments a classmate named Linda about being overweight but comes to see the hurtfulness of her actions when she sees her friend being ridiculed.
by Akili Year Published: 1998
Marianthe is an immigrant child who knows little English when she begins school in her new country. When she is teased by a classmate because of her struggles with the language, she discovers that she can communicate her family stroy by painting what she sees and feels.
THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION IS FROM THE BOOK: The ABC'S of BULLYING PREVENTION- Kenneth Shore, Psy.D
SIGNS that your child may be a victim of bullying:
1. Often develops a stomachache or headache in the morning.
2. Is resistent to going to school.
3. Is fearful of walking to or from school, or riding the school bus.
4. Frequently asks for or takes money beyond normal needs.
5. Is receiving lower grades than usual.
6. Appears withdrawn, upset or tearful after school.
7. Comes home from school with torn clothes or unexplained bruises.
8. Is missing some of his belongings.
9. Seems isolated from his peers.
10. Has been having problems sleeping or eating.
WHAT to DO if your child is being bullied:
1. Encourage your child to tell you and school staff if he is being bullied.
2. Get up to speed on Cyberbullying.
3. Treat your child's reports of bullying seriously.
4. Inform school staff promptly.
5. Coach your child on how to respond to a bully. ( *Tell your child what he should NOT do, and that is to retaliate agaisnt the bully or get in an angry exchange with him. CHECK OUT the MINDFULNESS PRACTICE practices offered her on Counselor's Corner to help with this). DEPENDING ON THE SITUATION; you might want to encourage your child to ignore the bully and walk away without appearing to be upset.
6. Help your child connet with his peers.-The more a child is connected with his classmates, the less likely they are to be a target. Encourage play dates or social activities where other schoolmates might be involved in.
7. Help your child project a confident air.- Encourage your child to walk with his head held high, make eye-contact with others and walk with confidence.
WHAT YOUR CHILD MIGHT SAY to the BULLY:
1. "NO" or "Stop it".
2. Be direct: "That is my ball and I want it back".
3. Ask the bully to repeat what he said in an effort to take the wind out of his sails.
4. Tell the bully: "Come to think of it, you are right." Then simply walk away.
5. Ask the bully an innocent question: "Why are you saying these things to me? I have never done anything to you?".
6.Try humor: "Thats the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me".
7. Reach out to the bully: "Let's not argue. Would you rather go play a game with me?"
8. Disharm the bully's desire for peer status by saying: "Saying mean things top others is not a leadership quality".
HELP YOUR CHILD AVOID BULLYING:
1.Have your child take a different route to school.
2.Have your child sit near the bus driver on the school bus.
3.Let campus staff/bus driver know your child is being bullied.
4. Have your child avoid areas of the school where bullying is most likely to happen.
WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD IS THE BULLY:
1. Meet with the Principal or teacher.
2. Take a hard line on bullying- Make clear to your child that under no circumstances will you accept bullying and that it must stop immediately.
3. Try to understand your childs behavior and respond accordingly. - Is your child looking for "peer approval"?, "power"?,venting frustration? Offer alternative ways for your child to handle these feelings and emotions.
4. Work with his school to modify his behavior.
5. Monitor your child's media exposure.
6. Pay close attention to your child's social behavior.
WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD CONTINUES TO BULLY DESPITE EFFORTS TO MODIFY HIS BEHAVIOR?- Seek the help of a counselor and/or therapist to see if the deeper root of your child's feelings can be worked out in a healthier way.