Family Questions
  • Welcome to a place where you can get answers to questions you may have always wanted to ask!  Please do not ask any question specific to your child, but we are happy to answer any general questions that can hopefully put your mind at ease or make things run more smoothly at home.  

    We will choose one question a month to answer, and you will find the answer on this page.   Included here as well, will be articles for parents to read and feel supported as we navigate parenting in these modern times. 

     

      EMAIL GENERAL PARENT QUESTIONSswinters@oldadobe.org

       In the subject line please write: "PARENT QUESTION"

QUESTION OF THE MONTH:

  • My child (step-child), argues with me when I ask him to do complete a task; help!

    Posted by:

     

    COUNSELOR RESPONSE:

    Getting a child to comply with our request can sometimes be frustrating; and even more so in step-families where the boundaries can feel blurry. 

     

     

     

    Try making a "Communication Sandwich"; or a "request sandwich".   What does that look like? 

    1. Something Nice:  Mary, I remember how happy you were to find that book you had been looking for the last time you cleaned your room and you did such a good job. And I wanted to give you some time to play outdoors before dinner.

    2. What you want:  I need you to put your  great cleaning skills to work just like before and get your room clean so that you will have time to play outside before dinner.

    3. Something else nice: Thank you for being my big girl and not arguing about it, I can see you are really growing up! 

     

    Comments (-1)
  • How can I get my child to calm down to focus on the task at hand?

    Posted by:

    COUNSELOR RESPONSE:

    Try giving your child a "Brain Freeze"! 

    When the brain is overworked or stimulated, the emotional brain can take over. This is a great time to use a sound (a special chime or soft bell) to indicate it is the begining of a "brain freeze" coming on.

    Teach your child that as soon as they hear this sound, they should stop whatever they are doing and freeze in a comfortable position. Allow them to lay their head down or curl up on the floor. Encourage them to close their eyes. 

    Try allowing 1-3 minutes for Brain Freezes a few times during a child's day. 

    (Self Regulation & Mindfulness. 2017 Gibbs D. Varleisha PhD., OTD, OTR/L)

    Comments (-1)
  • How can I get my child to fall asleep easier at night?

    Posted by:

    Our school nights are pretty busy and my child seems to take a long time to unwind. Do you have any tips to help for this?

     

    COUNSELOR RESPONSE:  Establishing a consistent bedtime routine is key. This routine will trigger your childs brain to know it is time to unwind for bed. Even if your nights are busy and you might get home at different times on different days, keep the routine the same. 

    *Once your child is in bed, they can practice a calming mindful activity called the "Squeeze and Release". 

    1. Lie on back and breath in three, slow, deep breaths.

    2. Notice your feet. wiggle your toes. Imagine they have a warm, golden glow. Squeeze the muscles in your feet tight. Hold...and release. 

    3. Move yourt attention up your legs. Now they are glowing a warm golden glow. Squeeze your leg muscles tight, hold and release. 

    4. Now imagine the warm golden glow moving up your body from part to part. 

    5. Slowly squeeze and release each golden body part one at a time-tummy, arms, shoulders, neck and face. 

    6. When you finish, take three soft, slow, mindful breaths and feel your body sink into the bed beneath you. Let yourself peacefully drift off to sleep.

    Comments (-1)